misc quotes

I would love to be your rainbow on the rainy days of life. I would love to be your gentle breeze to cool the hottest days. I'd love to be your full moon up in the starry night. I'd love to be your happy thought in a myriad ways. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Small improvements daily or simply a lull between storms? I like to think it is the former but must prepare for the latter. No matter how many storms I have faced, each new one just feels draining. Why bother with it all anyone? Just give it up, & flow out with it all. Why? Working thru the storms of life is what I do... what I've always done. I know no other way. I know no storm-free life on this planet. So, ok, storm clouds, come on. As long as I still breathe, it's on! ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Does the sun still shine? Oh, it's night? Then do the stars & the moon still shine? Well then, so will I. Oh, it is still day, you say. No matter, with all this shining about, I think I will just join in shining where I am too. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Strong but still cries, still hurts to stand in the face of attack or danger, still cringes & fears, but still does what must be done. It does not ever get easier because the heart must be guarded strictly lest hardness, bitterness, revenge, & abusiveness take root & poison, weaken, then kill the once strong. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Some days I just want to hang blankets & sheets up around me, pretend I am in some hidden safe place far away, curl up with my best buddy Luna dog, & dream of madcap adventures where no one hurts me & no one else gets hurt. I like to dream of taking all my most favorite people away with me, having a fantasy picnic of some kind, & just enjoying fun, friendship, laughter, music, & good stories long into the night around a bonfire, where everyone understood each other regardless of original language or customs & everyone wanted everyone else's comfort & pleasure ... then sleeping under a starry sky - on something supportive of backs & hips, of course. Hey! My fantasy, my terms & conditions, eh? Would you come along too? I'd like you to come as well. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Breathless, dizzy, skin on fire, every neuron firing, the heart races as black out nears. Only moments remain before the point of no return. Calm down! Spare a few seconds. Deliberately force the calmness. Sounds contradictory. It is, but it might save the life. The breathing slows. Exhaustion. A fall back onto oblivion. Another close call among how many. It can't go on much longer. There must be another way besides the permanent one. But for now, the sleep like the dead. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I heard my name & looked up. I was alone except for the dog & one of the cats. I was pretty sure neither of them could say my name. So, I dismissed it. But, I heard my name again. This time a cold touch walked up my exposed back. The dog was looking at me, beginning to whimper. Even the cat came near & cried. While petting them both, my name was spoken just in my ear. But, no one was there. So, I gathered the dog & cat to me & hid ourselves under that trusty safe place of all children... the blankets. I began singing every comforting song I had ever heard & partly remembered until all 3 of us were asleep. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Quietly I watched you for days, for weeks, for who knows how long. I would smile with my whole being to see you, but I was not ready to let you know I had even noticed you. You didn't seem ready to let me know you were also watching me. I might never be ready. You might not either. I might only want to enjoy watching a wonderful being & sending a blessing on the wind to you without you shying & running away. Maybe one day you will come nearer & allow me to pet you, to offer you food or water, or to become friends. Meanwhile run, jump, hide, then come back out & sing to the sun before sampling from the leftovers of the garden. I'll try my best to make sure there is always something there for you thru the winter. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I'm making my wishlist for Santa, it's true, & on the top of my wishlist are the best blessings for you. Then I impishly added with a smile & a wink: please let me meet them sooner than they might think. So, watch out, my friends, both near & quite far, I might be flying that sleigh right next to your star. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Big, fluffy, feathery flakes lazily fall, & then the wind whips them into a whirling dance of chilling delight. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Feeling the vibe in my hips, my womb, my legs quiver with the excess energy as my body heats up, my eyes become more focused, my movements more feline, somehow more female. Wanting nothing & no one between me & my chosen target, I smile, a predator's knowing, sensing. I will take all the time I need. This one is mine. I will get this. Quietly gathering resources & preparing my strategies. Oh yes, purring right now helps before stealth mode is on. Watching. Waiting. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Shall I tell you the secrets of my heart & mind? But, I already have. I have hidden nothing. Even all my closeted skeletons I made to put on costumes, get out of the closet, & perform song & dance numbers. It's all here. But, putting together the pieces? Ah, well, where would be the fun if I did that work as well. But, the clues are all there somewhere too. Happy hunting. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Looking deep into the Vastness, the Mystery, the All That Is, I see deep chaotic darkness with brilliant spots of light. I see the breath, the energy of Life, pulsing everywhere in a musical majesty of spheres, of vectors, shapes, & potential shapes. The vibrancy felt in & around me, dancing within & without me. All Alive. All responsive. All connected as one living being within a living being within a living being within a living being. I am in silent wonder that begs to sing out with joy, to whirl in ecstasy, grateful to be a part of this breath. To life! ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

If ever you want to send me a gift but cannot think of what I'd like, please just send you. Gift wrapping or ribbons not required. Chocolate is a bonus but also not required. You are perfect. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The wind brings a tingling chill to the bones that cause my heart to jump & my joints to protest, but my heart always wins. I like it cold out so that cuddling becomes more fun. I giggle inside to think you cannot leave easily now because you hate the cold, & I am a furnace of red hot mama. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Sometimes grumpiness, crankiness, & bitchiness wrap their arms around me until I cry from the internal pressures. I never like being this way or to cry because I seem unable to do it without my usual enthusiastic fullness, hurting me in all of my being & hurting those closest to me as well. Then I want to forget I even exist, feeling it is not worth it to keep trying anymore. It's a bad attitude born of pain extended in too long a company. I keep working on me, reminding myself that although I do not see much progress in me, others might see it instead. So, I keep trying after my stormy times, but sometimes it is in between naps & breaks. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

As a child, I used to lie under the water maple to watch the winged seeds fly down like small maple-y heliocopters. I wanted to plant them all to grow whole forests of water maples... just next to the whole forests of chestnuts & elm trees I thought were so beautiful. But, the elms disappeared, & someone chopped down all those beautiful chestnuts. Only the one water maple remains, & it is a dear friend from my youngest days... & so missed. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Her body rigid, face impassive, only the streaming tears down the sides of her face revealed the tormenting storms inside, she looked ahead, unfocused, silent. I offered tea & freshly baked scones silently, listening with my whole being to all she screamed in silence. "All the pretty songbirds," she muttered with a heavy sigh, eyes now down-turned, as she returned to frozen silence on the surface. "Are beautiful, yes, but so is crow... a powerful magical bird," I said quietly, then also returning back to silent offers of more tea & all my heart. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I fell for you truly, deeply, headlong despite my caution, despite all my reasoning. I didn't want to love. I had come to a place of despair & simply wanted to finish my death process begun from birth. Or so I thought. But, my inner me ambushed me, kidnapped me, stole my eyes & my heart, & would give me no peace at all until "dammitall!" I had to pay attention to the telltale sign of renewed Life, Love, Laughter, & that effervescent bubbling that gurgles all thru me, over me, & splashes out over everyone around. Why did everyone else know I loved but me? Oh yeah, because I was being grumpy about having to admit to being willing to do the hard work of healing & the even scarier work of loving & being loved. But even in this my inner me seduced me & revealed me for being such a liar. I really secretly wanted this deliciousness even if I could not bring my grumpy self to admit that. Oh but gawd! I wanted it more than a dehydrated person in the summer desert wanted water. Give me more! More! MORE! I want it ALL. I hate when I seduce myself, but here we go for one more round despite my being a terrible liar. I thrill when I seduce me. I'll never quit. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Why should your being a  butterfly & my being a dragon keep us from loving each other & being friends? Just stay out of the line of my fire breath in case I sneeze & we should be just fine. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

A victim being told to be quiet, to go away, to forget & let it go, to stop whining, to stop exaggerating, to be strong, to be a winner not a quitter, to keep the chin up, & above all to preserve the right of those who benefit from the silence to continue living their comfortable lives of having permanently harmed & endangered an innocent(s) without penalty to the party(ies) responsible but borne a whole lifetime by the innocent(s) might be the way of the world, but it is evil & has numbered days. Nothing like this ever lasts forever despite seeming like it does. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I share little pieces of my heart & soul showered here & there, opening myself like a wild flower swaying in the windy crevice, not easily spotted or perhaps more easily ignored but once finally seen, difficult to look away. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Smiling fondly, wistfully, a sigh, & a bit of a sob on the breathing, I dream longingly of holding you forever within a more perfected woman than the broken one I am, but perhaps the brokenness allows more entrances & accesses while allowing the softness & light within a venue to you. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

12/12/12 12/21/12 & the moon is in the 7th house, & Jupiter aligns with Mars, & fly me to the moon already! I want to play among the stars, esp. the ones that fall down from the sky everytime you walk by. You see, just like me, they long to be close to you. So, come a little bit closer, you're my kind of man. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

For me, I am no longer a victim nor even a mere survivor. I am a thriver, a flourisher, a creative living artist, a soul dancer, an impish mind puzzler, an ever-heart-expanding lover of life, & a woman. What about you? ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

To be confident in one's own skin is our birthright that has been stolen, destroyed, used, abused.... BUT, we can say "enough already! I will be me, as I am, in the body I live in right now, & I am enough as I am." Yes, we can work on learning something new everyday. We can grow, change, whatever we determine we want/need. But, that does not change the fact that right now, this ever-present "now moment" is all we have. We are not promised a second more. So, we are good enough & beautiful right now. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Never forget that I am an impish dragon-ish person who just also happens to tend to be sweet, kind, giving, gentle, & of longer than most patience in many things. The rapier wit is as sharp as any fang or claw. And, I have earned various nicknames such as "the Matriarch of Volcano Deities" for a reason. Defensive actions can be swift & unseen by the oblivious in coming... all on my call. Consider this an unusually compassionate, friendly warning. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

To me, for a religious or a spiritual person to say that it is even possible to "forget" god or that god is "not allowed"  somewhere/anywhere is the equivalent of saying to a fish that fish have forgotten water or not allowed water into schools of fish. Not possible.

Even further, for a religious/spiritual person to blame violent tragedies (or even natural disasters) on god because god was "left out of somewhere" are showing proof of lack of understanding of most of life & are slandering/libeling the god in whom the person(s) supposedly believe. The evil in the hearts of our fellow humans is more than enough to do all this cruelty... with or without prayer mandated in public places. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

In my lifetime, several dog species were targeted in the same way pit bulls are now. Among them are boxers, Doberman pinchers, German shepherds, huskies, Rottweilers, & bulldogs. None of them are the terrors they were made out to be, nor are pit bulls. It has a lot to do with the humans in the lives of the dogs & not the dogs themselves. Plus, no 2 dogs are alike - same as no 2 humans are alike... we are all unique unto ourselves even when similar. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

No one is more expert about one's own life & experience than the person him/herself. If you want to know what it means, feels like, daily experiences, etc. for someone who is autistic, please ask the person. Do NOT assume you know even if you are a parent of an autistic child, a highly trained/awarded psychologist with autistic clients, a neurologist, or anyone other than the person him/herself. AND, each person is unique, so don't assume from one's answers that you know all others'. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I have known many who are severely mentally ill, & of those, very, very few would I actively fear for my life at any time. Very few indeed.

I have known many who are by all measures most of our world would label as highly successful that I would not trust to be near long for the knowing my life could easily be endangered at any time. Then there are the rest of us. It is wise to be aware of your surroundings no matter what. Do the best you can & then stop worrying so much. Life is full of many things... most are to be enjoyed. This includes other people whether we know them or not yet. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw