Loneliness
Alone.
The oppressive silence
Cuts into my heart
As I cry
Silent tears.
Hello?
Can anyone hear me?
Only my heartbeat
Answers the cry
Of my heart.
God?
Have even you left me
Alone…
All alone in my sorrow?
No answer…
Except
My aching heart
And tired mind.
Strange, you see,
Because there are so many people
All around…
But no one sees me.
Ignored.
This stuffy bubble
Called isolation—
Not of my choosing
But assigned to me—
Crushes me.
I see the people
And smile…
Try to talk…
But silenced by
Their indifference.
Oh, God!
What’s wrong with me?
Why does nobody want me?
Do you also
Not want me?
I weep.
Silent tears,
Shuddering at an icy wind
That only my heart
Can feel.
Alone,
Afraid,
Aching,
Acutely aware that others
Feel as lonely
As I do…
But are they also standing here
Nearby smiling, chatting…
And alone, too?
God,
You are everywhere,
So come out, come out
Wherever you are
Because I know
You’re here…
But where are you?
Why does my heart
Feel all alone
With an aloneness
That cannot be broken through?
Oh, God,
It’s terrible torture
To know and to do
All the right things
And still feel empty…
And alone.
God,
I know you can hear me,
But why do you—even you—
Hold yourself aloof
From my heart?
And my pain
Of feeling
All
Alone?
Is there no reprieve for good behavior?
O-o-o-oh God!
Help me!
Such lonely aching
I could die from…
But torturously,
I still live…
Alone
Even with you and people
All around me.
Utterly alone.
Oh, God.
This icy wall of separation
Is too penetratingly
An agony…
Oh, God,
If you do not bridge it,
I will die…
Alone.
To know in my head
That you have
Is not enough
If I do not feel you there.
Oh, God,
Please let me know you
And feel your presence
In my aching
Lonely heart.
Ó22 January 1993, Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw.
