I seduce myself

I fell for you truly, deeply, headlong despite my caution, despite all my reasoning. I didn't want to love. I had come to a place of despair & simply wanted to finish my death process begun from birth. Or so I thought. But, my inner me ambushed me, kidnapped me, stole my eyes & my heart, & would give me no peace at all until "dammitall!" I had to pay attention to the telltale sign of renewed Life, Love, Laughter, & that effervescent bubbling that gurgles all thru me, over me, & splashes out over everyone around. Why did everyone else know I loved but me? Oh yeah, because I was being grumpy about having to admit to being willing to do the hard work of healing & the even scarier work of loving & being loved. But even in this my inner me seduced me & revealed me for being such a liar. I really secretly wanted this deliciousness even if I could not bring my grumpy self to admit that. Oh but gawd! I wanted it more than a dehydrated person in the summer desert wanted water. Give me more! More! MORE! I want it ALL. I hate when I seduce myself, but here we go for one more round despite my being a terrible liar. I thrill when I seduce me. I'll never quit. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw