misc quotes

Deep eye contact, sighs into an almost moaning wail that is stifled, then a tilted head offering my lips to you, I watch & wait. You move away, sighing. The sound I heard was my heart shattering, but the silence became louder, ever louder, until eternity filled the void. But my heart is foolish as well as stubborn. It knows it is eternal. So, I watch & wait. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The Warrior sat quietly, thoughtfully, observing everything keenly, understanding & seeking to understand more fully, ever listening inwardly & outwardly. There could be no sleeping on the job, no undue baggage to unpack, & no unnecessary attachments. Death of the innocents happened that way. Often alone or only in the contact of allies... Safety was that way. It is a hidden & thankless job with all too often an accepted but still early, messy death into a disgraced or unknown grave. But, someone must, & the Warrior will because of tenderhearted knowledge that love means  doing what must be done. But, deep into the silence, the heart bleeds long before that fatal wound. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

When asked if I'd ever heard of the pleasure pantry, I said it sounded like a lot of fun but a whole pantry to store the excess? I think the roaring laughter in response was almost as loud as that same laughter many years back when I was asked if I wanted to go to a Chippendale strip show & said I should as I had some furniture needing redone. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I sat, looking out the window: a habit long-standing. I liked just sitting, dreaming-thinking or silently listening-watching. Calming beyond settling, a peacefulness of tranquility, the deepest knowing without knowing, I sat, looking out the window. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Learning anything takes a willingness to see what is not expected or perhaps even wanted. It is painful to be disillusioned, proven wrong - esp. if the word "again" is somehow attached, or presented with the need to change, esp. cherished traditional habits. But, it is the way to learn, to grow, & to stay true to yourself. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Close your eyes, relax, & let your heart's heart see & feel for you now. Can you see my dancing prayer for you? Can you feel my love coming & surrounding you like the incoming waves of the ocean? Can you experience that loving place with me & begin to understand this mystery: Dancing Waters Sings to the Deep Places? ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Come, let me love you from the top of your head to your feet. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you then repeat. Let my loving self embrace you, deep within enfold you. Let my heart be your castle, my moans your deepest coo. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

My Grandpa Leroy had some very good, concise pieces of advice for whenever troubles & pains become overwhelming or even beyond. Some of those included these answers to "how are you?":

"I'm in good shape for the shape I'm in."

"Can't complain. Wouldn't help if I did."

"We're all in the same boat, so might as well find a seat & keep rowing."

He was also fond of repeating "If wishes were horses beggars would ride..." ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

All y'all should be warned: I dreamed we were all dancing some interesting dances along moonbeams & through stardust: the dougie, the butterfly, the wobble, the cat daddy, the spongebob, the 2 step, the waka waka, the twerk, the wop, the jerk, the crazy legs, & other more interesting variations of all the above. We had a lot of fun & almost fell off the moon with so much laughter. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

One of my many wonderful role models was neighbor Belden Fisher who helped so many people & was a blessing still remembered fondly. An example of her heart & spirit: knowing she had just a couple days before she passed away, she wrote me a note card to encourage me to keep hanging in there as she was worried about me. She wanted to make sure I knew I was loved & my struggling efforts were worth it. Belden, may my life encourage many as you surely encouraged me. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

A warm breathe is on the wind that does not fool me or the cat. We know there is a cooler presence making itself known. A colder time stalks thru the nights. Soon the snowy, darkness will be here, bringing peaceful sounds & feelings while also telling scary tales. But, the cat & I are not afraid of scary tales. Death is the only real hunter, & everyday is a good day to die. So, we'll live, love, dance, & just be. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

It is amazing how a word of love, an attitude of consistently being supportive, & just allowing your presence to be felt by another living being can change lives. One heart at a time... slowly slowly. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Yes, yes, yes! Give me wild wit, unfettered inquisitiveness laced with satire & irony, a taste of feral musings & misty feelings entwined with irreverant soliloquy & wicked sense of foreplay, and an evilly delicious imagination combined with complex skills in verbal intercourse! Melt me with your mind. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

As with most things in life, we can expect to trip & fall all throughout life even when we are trying our best not to trip or to fall. I have been embarrassed in extreme by things that I've said or done that were very hurtful, bigoted, hateful or even downright evil. I hurt me to hear or see me say/do them at the time even though I had no idea those things were even in me. It hurt worse seeing the pain in the receiver of my words, actions, &/or inaction. It has taken a lot of work on me, my inner workings, my history & the context of my history, & so much more so that I can even get to a place of beginning to listen to others who are harmed, terrorized, or marginalized even more than I might have experienced. What hurt me even more was realizing that my experiences were not even so very unusual. But, it was a hurt that compelled me onward to understand more & to do better than this. I realize it will be a lifelong learning. Thankfully, my backside is well-padded for all the falls I have taken & will take in the future. May my ability & willingness to face me squarely & face reality without automatically flinching in defensiveness or denial. A work in progress am I. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

My masquerade: a dance of peek then seek; reveal a bit here, hide a lot there; a bit charade, a lot puzzle. A flirty giggle tinged with cackle. Do you dare dance with me? Then hurry. I will flittingly fly from fearful flings, preferring ambiguous anglings. Come. Dance this masked enchantment with me. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

It took me decades to understand what hurt & upset me about the following type of comments: "If I were in your condition, I'd pay for euthanasia." "If I looked like you, I'd hope someone would shoot me & put me out of my misery." When I'd object to comments like this, I was usually met with the standard, "but I was referring only to me & my life. You are too sensitive." This is a coward's way of abusing & manipulating someone who is preyed upon, bullied, & being marginalized. When I'd hear anything even remotely similar coming from me, I always felt utterly & totally disgraceful. We learn from the society we are born into & keep. We un-learn the wrongful lessons with a lot of hard work & patience from those who are around us still. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The chill in the mornings feels so good until I try to move. Then my cranky, crotchedy, cantankerous joints tell me they ain't moving, so there. So, I try to coax the old gal to move slowly but surely. Some days are easier than others. But, I do so prefer autumn & the cooling temperatures to the dreadful heat & humidity or the freeze-my-backside-off blasts of the north wind in sub-Arctica. No complaints from me. Just please warm me some extra apple cider, ok? ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The mist crept into the valleys & lower parts along the mountain as a deep quiet filled the quickly cooling air. Soon the tree trunks all looked black in the foggy forest that seemed to be beckoning, tempting, & haunting all at the same time. A snap of a dried twig, the rustle of fallen leaves, & shifting vapors of landed cloud then silence. An owl hooted suddenly. Then the mists dampened all to silence again as I watched longingly. Time for quiet retreats & solitude. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

If I dressed in multiple layers of chiffon scarves in black, dark blues, & dark purples with black netting as my veil & a small rug that I claimed is my dehydrated magic carpet, would I be welcomed at your dinner party that I mistakenly thought was a masked ball? ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Listening to the crows caw in the misty morning mountains is one of my favorite things. It saddens me that fewer birds & other animals are available now than there were a decade or several decades ago. So, I listen to these intelligent family birds with even dearer, fonder thoughts & feelings than ever. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

My skin feels on fire as my breathing struggles hard. Man, I have not been able to sweat in almost a decade and a half, but right now I feel practically wet. My hormones must be all a-rioting... not sure if this is a good thing, but I had begged for this. I am grateful, I think. But, man! Please can someone please install refrigeration? I don't care if even the dog is wearing a parka, chattering her teeth at me. I'm HOT. If this is not menopause, I want my body back. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

All too soon fresh produce from the garden will be a fond memory & wistful longing for next year's garden EXCEPT I do prefer colder temps than gardens do. I have lobbied Mother Nature for split screen type accommodations ... like hot & humid only over the garden & plant parts but snow without ice over my room parts. There has been no word yet about any considerations for my appeal. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

And so draws near the end of the official no bra day. But, I confess that I always love to live dangerously with the chances of self-inflicted concussions or felonious assault & battery charges when in public without the proper tata restraints. Ah, bouncy bouncy trounsy trounsy fun fun fun. That's the wonderful thing about the bra locks come undone. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Sometimes Oppenheimer's quoting of the Bhagavad Gita chills me anew. "I have become death, Destroyer of worlds."  The rising anger, grief, rage, specter of death roils from the depths fathoms below... a cauldron of pain on a scale that should terrify us beyond any & all comprehension, & yet we humans as a mass want desperately to deny, close our eyes, & keep all our comforts as they are even as we know.. we KNOW! how bad it is. Yet we blame always someone else, some scapegoat, & not ourselves except in our private despairs of feeling overwhelmed failures. And, I weep impotent tears, impotent tears, impotent tears. Until I lift my heart determined to be just that one who might stand in the gap between Life & Death, I will continue impotent. When I do lift my heart up & sing my death song, knowing it is either my death or the death of Life, I am fiercely powerful in my very fragility. I have become death, healer & lover of life. Today, then, is a good day to die. I think then I will sing, dance, & laugh. Watch my fire burn me. I desire this burning. I have become death, a mother of worlds. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

"Do you even know you're strange, crazy, & unlike everyone else in this world?" I perked right up & said, "Thank you for the encouragement." Somehow I gathered this was not the response expected, so I offered consolation: "Ah, cheer up. I just proved your fabulous point, didn't I?" Hmm. Still not the expected response. So, I just smiled asked if tips were needed. Ah, the sounds of silence reign again. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

My path in life unfolded as it is, no other path was seen. A hungering for wholeness, health, life itself would not be denied. But it was not just for me. Always nipping at my heels, death itself would preen. An inner compass in my heart beyond thought was relied upon forward, but only backwards to see. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

One day the blasting open, the devastating leveling, & the obliteratingly freedom that was you hit me, Beloved. My heart was wide opened. Love destroyed me into Being. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

It is beyond one person's capabilities to keep up with the world-wide crises of catastrophic proportions. With over 100 wars, genocides, maiming, pillaging, raping, the list is long & sickening, ... I try to focus on the little good I might be able to do. I am only a woman doing the best I can where I am with what I have from where I come from. The best I can usually do is to offer my loving presence & voice from my heart to yours and to speak up whenever I think it will be of benefit. The rest of the time is divided among reading, sleeping, eating, singing, & mischief. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

There have been a variety of ways to meet friends thru the years - in person, on the phone, via the postal system, via the internet, to name some of the most popular ways. All friendships are valid. All important. No method of meeting or even of continuing the friendship is guaranteed to bring full knowing of another. In fact, it is best we don't. We don't even know ourselves fully, so why demand it of another? I also know that I have "met" friends who lived in a different era, different century, even a different multiverse (who were also considered fictional,) ... While the friendship was not reciprocal, I count me as a friend & a beneficiary. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I've been ever so sincere. My pumpkin is the best pumpkin. The Great pumpkin will surely come visit me (& my tummy) soon! Of course, the pumpkin carver is currently snoring again, so tonight might not bring the Great Pumpkin to me. But, I refuse to give up the vigil. hehehe ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

As a young woman I was told that a young lady never made the 1st move  toward a male. So, I promptly went to a classmate & said I was going to a free concert in Old Main & had no one to go with. Was he interested in going as well? Another classmate overheard me & asked if he could come as well. We had about a dozen of us who enjoyed ourselves immensely, but none of us would have gone had I not stepped forward. Friendships are the backbone of real fun & also romance. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

As more of you continue to leave me, I bid you blessings & peace on your journey. My style is not for most as I simply must get to know as much of our beautiful world as possible. It is a joy to explore portals of magic in music, art, geography, cultures, languages, & people. My goal has ever been to love, to be love, & to shine forth love ever more clearly. I have a very long way to go & am grateful for however long or short a time you have been a part of my journey. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Aren't you afraid of ruining your reputation? I was asked. What reputation? I asked. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Finding myself was harder than being myself. So, being lazy, I opted to just be myself & let others find me. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

If I showed up at your house in a shaggy, loopy terry cloth full body outfit with big googly eyes, a purple corset, cloth cookie shaped shoe images on my foot-tops, & carrying a huge cookie, would you believe me that I am the grown up Cookie Monster needing cookies to reform my life & let me inside? ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Can you have a little black dress ready for New Year? Mine or just any? Yours. Sure, I need about 40 yards of material to begin. That's little? Hey! I like magical & swishy! That's a lot of swish. Well, I'm a lot of woman! ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I am my art, my song, & my message. I dance my life & shine my heart as a beacon. Love, to me! ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I've had so many crushes in my lifetime so far. Most I have never admitted to another living or dead soul, but all have been & are treasured in my heart. Love is... just is. Crushes are innocent admirations & deep carings for any living being, but esp. for other humans. So, I was remembering some of my earliest ones today with a big smile & a blessing on my heart for each one. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Dance for joy, dance for pain, dance thru the years & back again into the dance of trembling lips, of shaking chorus, of sexy dips. Dance for love, dance, don't wait, dance yourself right out of hate into the freedom just to be you, that place where magic will always be true. Just dance. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I might be shattered, my enemies thought I to be destroyed, never to rise, never to be loved, never to survive... but here I am still. Still I rise. Still I hang in there. Still I go on, step by step... sometimes just a holding pattern... but I never will give up. Ever will I rise. Until that one glad morning I need rise no more for I will have risen completely, I still rise. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw