Pancho Gordo and The Snoring Desert

Pancho Gordo and The Snoring Desert

Once upon a time in the Snoring Desert wandered Pancho Gordo, his lovely wife Doña Juana Choka, and their daughter Maria Juana Choka. They were on a misadventure in search of the city of the Golden Cure in the land of Azmatica. Their adventures are the stuff of fevered brains.

Well, Pancho Gordo was no ordinary misadventurer. No. He had a broken burro named La Mitad de Dulce and a careless servant named Rancho (de la pequeña).. or just Rancho for short. How they began their adventures is unknown, but they were first heard of in the Canyon de Chile somewhere in the vast barrenness of sandstones once home of the Azmasuki peoples but now mostly inhabited by Dinner Indians and strange alien peoples collectively known as Tourists. No one is quite sure where Tourists originally came from, but they all seemed to have strange magical devices they called mobility scooters and camera phones. Rancho once commented to one of the strangest of the Tourists (who called himself Reporter) that he thought there had been a magical cave called Vortex opened by the ancient Amasuki medicine people in Sadonut on the far side of the vast barrenness that caused a lot of grief to the natives.

Anyway, Pancho Gordo and his small band wandered the Snoring Desert far and wide, having many adventures. But, their first adventure was in the Canyon de Chile, specifically in a gorge affectionately known to the locals as Cañón de la Muerte Negro. There was a legend that an unpredictable spirit known as La Mujer Araña lived on the ridge of the canyon. No one knew for certain what the legends meant except there were a lot of sticky netting and dried bones in strange places. Not many who went to investigate ever returned, and few wanted to further investigate. After all, investigations could always be done mañana. All Pancho Gordo would say when his small band was found at the entrance to the canyon was "los huesos, los huesos ellos, los huesos secos," which roughly translated to "them bones, them bones, them dry bones."

And so Pancho Gordo and his small family group continued on many adventures, which will fill many a winter night. Until next episode, we'll leave you with the wise proverb handed down from Doña Juana Choka: no entrar en ese cañón.

© Copyright 2011, Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw. All rights reserved.

Notes to help understand:

This silly story and others in this series were first told by me to some friends when I was very ill with fever and a severe asthma attack. What can I say except I do have a wacky sense of humor that never ceases to find amusement.

Pancho Gordo: means Fat Pancho and is the name of the hero of the story, a spoof of sorts on Pancho Villa

Snoring Desert: wordplay on Sonoran Desert

La Mitad de Dulce: Half-Sweet, a play on/ reference - Don Quixote de la Mancha

Rancho (de la pequeña): Ranch, small

Canyon de Chile: play on Canyon de Chelly National Monument

Azmasuki: play on Anasazi people, ancient people, Dineh (Navajo) for “enemy people”

Dinner Indians: play on Dineh (Navajo)

Sadonut: play on Sedona, Arizona

Cañón de la Muerte Negro: means Black Canyon of the Dead, also a spoof on Spiders Rocks which according to legend, the Spider Woman lives on top and keeps the bones of her victims there

La Mujer Araña: Spider Woman

Mañana: tomorrow

No entrar en ese cañón: Do not enter this canyon.