misc quotes

Yes, I am very sexy. I am one of the last of the red hot mamas. Most people all my life have tried to tell me how unlovable, how ugly, how etc. I am, & the pity of it is that for most of my life I mostly believed them. BUT, now I know that that is not the truth about me... never has been. No matter what my size, my health status, my age, my anything that can be quantified or even talked about by anyone, I am Daphne. I am a sexual & very sexy woman... even during the many years in my lifetime that I have been outwardly "celibate." AND, I'm getting hotter all the time, dancing as I go. Come dance with me, & celebrate life, love, & joy too. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Any season that has creative imagination involved has magic to transform hearts, minds, & lives. Luckily, all seasons have this. Some just need extra care to bring out the magic more or to tame the competing energies bent on warping the magic & wonder. I like both because chaos is a wonderfully fertile bed to plant new life to develop from. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

This is wisdom - to guard our own hearts & minds against self-importance, which is self-righteousness, arrogance, pride, & a bunch of nasty attitudes that tangle us up into bigger messes & evils we blindly "never expected" from ourselves. I look for tell-tale signs in me of becoming indignant, outraged, hurt/upset about "being misunderstood" or "ignored," or even becoming to "humble" It is one thing to have healthy, working boundaries & self-respect and another to be self-important. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

There is always something about the way an opinion is presented that helps my allowing even obnoxious ones (to me) to be heard, listen to, & at least an to make the attempt to understand. If even an "acceptable" opinion is delivered from haughty arrogance & self-righteousness, my refusal to accept soars higher than eagles. That will, actually, cause me to re-think the "acceptable" opinion to see if I need to change my mind about it. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

the honest cries of a broken heart, the true penitent, the one who becomes flexible, agile, malleable, moldable, & ultimately strong, authentic... learns compassion... it is the only way to learn it as it cannot be taught - only lived ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The sun now begins to climb higher above the horizon after standing still after the winter solstice. Days in the northern hemisphere will grow slowly & steadily longer as the cycle of life continues onward. May all those you love be held dear & told often of your love. None of us are promised another turn around the sun, so love deeply, thoroughly, & with untamed joyful enthusiasm. May you know deep & abiding peace of heart & mind, a true gladness of outlook, & an attitude of living love in all its wondrous splendors. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

One of the most frightening of all the many frightening words is the word inoperable. More scary words include "there's nothing more we can do." For those who are helping & caretaking, God bless you. If ever I could truly have a magic wand to make things better, this would be one of those times I would like to choose. All I have to offer, though, is my love, what prayerful energies as are here to me, & the hugging by my heart from one who does care deeply. *hug* ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

And so the government wants to tap our phones, record our conversations in public places (like on the bus, the train, etc.,) read our emails, & whatever other mischief of noisiness that can be imagined. Unless the drone assigned to monitor me is mechanical only & only visits my FB wall, I fear I am not doing my duty to keep the drone fully employed since I spend most of my time in silent thought... except when singing - either solo or in harmony with the dog and/or the cat. Since I have been mostly quiet for 5 decades now (ask my former classmates on here to verify my tendency to be quiet LOL,) I doubt I will find it in me to become extremely talkative too soon. Now if they ever discover how to tap my thinking, they'd best be about it soon before I forget how. hehehe ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

It was asked - "If you could kiss anyone, famous or not, under the mistletoe this season, who would it be?" Hmm... my answer did not seem to be the one expected - Luna dog kisses me everyday, esp. when we sing her favorite song at the moment which is Lou Rawls "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine." What?! ;) hehehe ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Well, all right-y then. I was asked if I had a New Year's resolution, which is a tradition I have not taken up these past 5+ decades, but who's counting, right? I resolve to continue trying my best to keep breathing as long as possible because I am very addicted to oxygen & not ready to give up this habit just yet. End of list... all other efforts this coming year are purely bonus points. :D ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Many a seemingly wise statement can be deceptively cruel & soul destroying as well as untrue. Even a statement that seems compassionate at one time turns out to be evil at another. Learning how to know the differences & the timing takes practice, training, more practice, an open mind, more practice, & even more practice. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Re-wiring ourselves is possible, difficult yes, improbable? hmm depends, but possible. That was all I needed to hear. You see, I started my work on re-wiring me decades ago, but I had no idea until fairly recently that this was what I was indeed doing. My internal compass, inner radar, my vision... all were strong albeit mostly a mystery to the mind or explanation. But, I knew I had to keep going... just do the next thing that came to do or wait until it came. 5+ decades later, I am still here, still breathing, & still re-wiring me. I used to think it would be so much easier if those with the equipment & skills would only just help me, but I now wonder if that would have been my demise instead. I am blessed to have been protected on this path of mine. And so it goes... onward. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I have seen large bodies of water, even flowing water freeze. I have even seen people drive out onto a frozen river. Me... I prefer my explorations on frozen emotions, frozen ideas, frozen beings... esp. mine... in order to warm them, unfreeze them, & improve circulation. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

May I be forever kissed with a million million kisses of every sort & from my lips flow the joys & blessings of life lived fully, zestfully, juicily, vibrantly, & completely in joyful blessings. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

"So, you have wanted to learn more about being Torah-true. What have you learned so far?" he asked.

"Breath is life. Breath is what determines if life exists... in these texts as well as in current medical science. A baby's 1st independent breath is considered birth into a living individual. In a surgery, the breath is paramount in importance & must be stabilized before all other procedures or concurrent with immediate emergency such as bleeding out. Bleeding out is so dangerous because all the breath/conduit for breath leaves the body," she replied. "So, God makes human and other bodies out of earth & breathes life into them... each unto his/her own kind (still lobbying for a neutral, non-gendered pronoun in English, alas.) Life is the hallmark/thumbprint/artist signature of God. And the whole Earth is alive/breathes. Ditto the whole universe. To Life!"

"You listen & learn well," he smiled. "Please tell me what you meant by 'The Mystery' earlier."

"God, in short. More specifically, when I ponder The All That Is = the Vastness = the Mystery.... I see an ever expanding universe full of music, vibrations, breath, Life... & know that because the whole is alive it is responsive & also contemplate that there might be multiverses & other unknowables even just on the "physical" scale of things... then realize the less physical but mysterious side of things.... and then on top of all that realize god is a part of all that is & is bigger than the biggest big & smaller than the smallest small & still encompasses all.... & then add in that being a part of a body/living being - as is our world/our universe, we cannot comprehend or fully know the whole but still want to... god will remain the mystery... a loved & loving one, awe-inspiring & even more than a bit frightening... but good.... = The Mystery to me."

"Ah, moving into quantum-reality and such. May I poke Schrödinger's Cat for you?" he chuckled.

"Please," she also laughed.

~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

We need to watch the targeting of dissent, the anxiety of free speech, the obsession with consensus, sensationalism to whip up public fear/terror, vigilante mentality & actions, & labeling "others" as "different" & therefore dangerous before even listening or knowing the facts. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Being a large woman, I have a large canvas with which to work with & to display. Sure it also means I will have enormous haters, detractors, evil eyes & tongues everywhere I am. So, I'll make myself as colorful, as joyful, as open, & as expressive as I can as any time I choose. Just watch me dance thru the fires & storms. You might consider joining me. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

A precocious 3 year old girl atop a stack of big books on a chair before the huge dictionary that's chained to the table cries as she tries to figure out the scribbles inside. The librarian finally sees her & asks what is wrong instead of just scolding the child for her dangerous perching on books. The librarian knows this is a very young reader & something is very wrong.

"I have to know what an evil bitch & whore means," the toddler silently cries.

The librarian is stunned but asks ever so gently, "Why, sweetheart? Where did you hear these words?"

"Because that is what I am, & I want to stop so they won't hurt me anymore."

Before there could be more, the child is whisked away & in so much more trouble than she can understand... & she cannot find how to stop being that thing she can no longer say for several decades into her future. Some lessons get beaten in well. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

What I find is once a man begins to explore the fuller aspects & nuances of his own sexuality, he risks being misconstrued or abused. A woman wanting to explore men's sexuality will face a lack of quality info & also risk danger from a world than hates women's full expression of authentic sexuality. And yet, true intimacy, love, & great sex all depend on us all asking, exploring, knowing, learning, growing, sharing... which we as humans need, want, desire, crave, shrivel for lack of... We want love, real love, but are afraid of being real or loving in the vulnerable places... the very places that are the most honest us & also the most beautiful, if only we can allow ourselves to get beyond our fears, our wrong learnings, our wounds. Love & Life are intimate dancers. Oh, to dance always! ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw  

All of us have good, bad, & evil in us. All of us are capable of all of which humans are capable. Thankfully, most of us will not be given the opportunity to face our more extreme evil in action, but we catch glimpses of it sometimes in the flaring of a temper, fantasy thoughts of revenge - including our religious thoughts of eternal revenge & sadism to all not like us, the grumpiness snapped at a loved one, the rejection of helping a loved one in abused danger by willful blindness, & a million other small, banal evils we refuse to look at or identify as really evil. We want to believe we are good even when we do, say, or think wrong things because it hurts to identify & name what we prefer to call our flaws, our shadows, our darker sides, or, more typically, a simple human mistake or weakness. None of are perfect, we plea & demand. Evil cannot be me or us. It must be "the stranger" or "the devil." ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

As we take responsibility for our own actions, words, thoughts, & the consequences of that responsibility, we grow & experience real liberty. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

When I was still a teenager, I wanted to discover what was real as far as beliefs were concerned. My criterion from that time on was that if it did not work for someone who was quadriplegic, disabled from a stroke, nonverbal or mostly nonverbal, & mostly alone, then it did not truly work for anyone. My second criterion was that it still had to be recognizable even if the belief was not presented in the way the vast majority of humans were comfortable with or were expecting. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Some of the hardest lessons for me in life have been learning the many facets of self-respect &, a by-product of such learning, showing due respect. Making healthy boundaries, learning I did not have to explain those boundaries or my enforcing them, & a myriad related issues continue to be a high priority learning for me even 5+ decades into my life. Everyday I learn, I grow, I get stronger, & I am closer to real freedom & real liberty and not just the appearance of it. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

If only we humans can finally get over ourselves, calm down, & learn to see other humans as humans, just humans, we'll gain so much from each other while also helping each other be safer, better able to meet life's demands, & have so many more friends. It's just us here - humans, & we're in this together. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Boys / men should be insulted with the "boys will be boys" excusing of bad guy behaviors, rules, words, jokes, etc. because it means we, as a world, do not expect boys / men to be or act like more than mere brutes & mindless erections with absolutely no control over themselves. I have much better faith in boys / men than that, & I do believe the majority of males are a lot better than this. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Kiss me with your lips, your fingertips, your eyes in softly sung purrs of delight everywhere, & let me do the same. Leave no part inward or outward unexplored. Take me as I enfold you into me & show you a woman's love in the way that only this woman can. Show me the love only you know how to give. Let us write fire in our breath, tingling in our touch, & home in our eyes. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

My Algerian Notes - Emir Abd el Kader

My Algerian Notes - Emir Abd el Kader

 

Emir Abdelkader ibn Muhieddine (6 September 1808 – 26 May 1883) also known as Emir Abdelkader or Abdelkader El Djezairi

"If I have accepted leadership, this is to have the right to be the first to march in the battles, and I am ready to step behind any other chief whom you judge more worthy and more capable than me to lead you, provided that he pledges to take in hand the cause of our faith."~ Emir Abdelkader


 "During the early part of the nineteenth century, Algerian tribal leader and scholar of the Qur’an, Abd el-Kader, solidified his position as not only a freedom fighter, but as Louis Werner called him, a true “Prince of Brotherhood.” He not only fought against the French occupation of Algeria, but was an advocate for religious tolerance and the idea of cultural openness. He is considered by Algerians to be the founder of the modern day Algeria and has the distinction of having the only town in the United States with an Arab name specifically named for him (Elkader, Iowa)..."
~ Abd el-Kader: Embodiment of True Jihad - Part 1 http://tinyurl.com/lekptpm


History, according to the truism, is written by the victors. Yet, it was the French victors who paid homage to the moral, intellectual and spiritual qualities that made Abd-el- Kader a widely recognized great man of the mid-19th century. Emir Abd-el-Kader inspired respect from Missouri to Moscow. His story is about many things, but ultimately it is about struggle: struggle against French invaders, struggle with Arabs who rejected his leadership, struggle with depression and despair in French prisons, struggle to live as a good Muslim.
~ John W. Kiser, Emir Abd-el-Kader Ibn Muhieddine (6 September 1808 – 26 May 1883) http://emirabdelkader.net/ 


Articles 

 Abdelkader El Djezairi http://tinyurl.com/loposoa

 Abdelkader El Djezairi : biography http://tinyurl.com/nmjvrr7  http://tinyurl.com/nfnoyoe

 Abd el-Kader: Embodiment of True Jihad - Part 1 http://tinyurl.com/lekptpm
 Abd el-Kader: Embodiment of True Jihad - Part 2 http://tinyurl.com/ldbpuwo

 AMIR ABD-AL-QADER'S STRUGGLE FOR TRUTH http://tinyurl.com/o8pxmcy

 Emir Abdelkader http://tinyurl.com/leht5as

 Emir Abdelkader, “undisputed” leader in the codification of modern International Humanitarian Law http://tinyurl.com/qcj3bh4

 Emir Abd-el-Kader Ibn Muhieddine (6 September 1808 – 26 May 1883) http://emirabdelkader.net/ 


 Commander of the Faithful, a book about Emir Abd el-Kader http://tinyurl.com/l7alox9

 How a 19th Century Sufi Inspires Algerian Youth to Write about Human Rights http://tinyurl.com/ngpst6t

 L'Emir Abd-El-Kader et  les prémices de l'Etat Algérien moderne http://tinyurl.com/lp8o5av

 Visit the Ancient City of Mascara http://tinyurl.com/nvj3nbe


Books & Writings

 Abdelkader El Djezairi, Origin of the Arab Horse http://tinyurl.com/oz3s26b

 Emir Abd el-Kader: Hero and Saint of Islam” (ISBN: 978-1-936597-17-8) http://tinyurl.com/kgk3sqb


Video
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR0Kmray4Lk
  L'Emir Abdelkader et l'histoire Franco-Algériennehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwH2bo6h9x0


Origin of the Arab Horse. Letter of the Emir Abd-el-Kader, from "The Horses of the Sahara," by General E. Dumas, 1857:
"Praise be to the one God!  "To him who remains ever the same amid the revolutions of this world: "To our friend General Dumas.
"Peace be with you, through the mercy and blessing of Allah, on the part of the writer of this letter, on that of his mother, his children, their mother, of all the members of his family and of all his associates.
"To proceed: I have read your questions, I address to you my answers.
"You ask me for information as to the origin of the Arab horse. You are like unto a fissure in a land dried up by the sun, and which no amount of rain, however abundant, will ever be able to satisfy.
"Nevertheless, to quench, if possible, your thirst (for knowledge), I will this time go back to the very head of the fountain. The stream is there always the freshest and most pure.
"Know, then, that among us it is admitted that Allah created the horse out of the wind, as he created Adam out of mud.
"This can not be questioned. Several prophets - peace be with them! - have proclaimed what follows :
"When Allah willed to create the horse, he said to the south wind:
"'I will that a creature should proceed from thee condense thyself!' and the wind condensed itself. Then came the angel Gabriel, and he took a handful of this matter and presented it to Allah, who formed of it a dark bay or a dark chestnut horse (koummite- red mingled with black), saying:
"'I have called thee horse (frass); I have created the Arab, and I have bestowed Upon thee the color koummite. I have attached good fortune to the hair that falls between thy eyes. Thou shalt be the lord (sid) of all other animals. Men shall follow thee wheresoever thou goest. Good for pursuit as for flight, thou shalt fly without wings. Upon thy back shall riches repose, and through thy means shall wealth come.'
"Then he signed him with the sign of glory and of good fortune (ghora, a star in the middle of the forehead)."
 ~ http://tinyurl.com/oz3s26b

misc. quotes

You're not like us. You're different. Your way is wrong. Only our way is right. You deserve to be tortured with glee, suffer untold agonies forever, and remain ever forsaken. And I say this with love. We are a peaceful and loving people. ENOUGH. My head will explode with the enormity of the sanctimonious, self-righteous hypocrisies of our species. How many times I want to resign from this species!

Those drops of waters in all the oceans could have been dropped from my tears. The eruptions of all volcanoes could have come from my exasperation with it all. How hard is it to understand anyway that another life is life just as our own? How hard to accept another human is as human as we are? How difficult is it to grasp that understanding one another might take time and effort but is worth every bit of it? Peace is not gained thru war. Love is not shown thru hatred. Good grief! ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

It is important for us to remember that spitefulness and jealousy are poisonous roots to harbor in our hearts and minds. Other roots lending toward speaking badly about another in his/her absence (or even presence) are bitterness, feelings of inferiority or superiority, hatreds, fears, and other very human weaknesses. Therefore, it is imperative we look first to our own hearts and minds to cleanse ourselves because whatever we dwell on in our mind or heart will overflow into our speech and actions. Once a word is uttered or a deed done, it cannot be undone, and much damage can and usually does occur.. both to the victim of the back-biting and the hearers but even more so to the one who back-bites. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

As the autumnal equinox is about to come & the fall season officially begins, I think of what I love so much about the season to come. Cornstalks, pumpkins, apples, and a whole cornucopia of harvest comes in. I remember putting food by with mom, grandmothers, and older aunties, loving the process a much as the nip in the air. Seeing the fall colors everywhere as whole hillsides turned into magical, colorful carpets. The darker days, the chillier times with snow not so far away, the many seasonal shows from Charlie Brown to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, holidays full of fun and surprises, and seeing people again that had been missing perhaps for a year or months. Each day brings more bundling up and cuddling up, perfect for storytelling or bonfires and also for my now aging lungs, easier breathing in some ways. Come, dark, colder season. Who will give birth to the baby who will play the Christ child in the pageants? Who will dress up as a scary monster on Halloween then dress as Santa for Yule? I await my dance with the holly king and maybe a sip of wassail this year. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The leaves turned, twisting in colors glorious. Seeds fell to be covered thru the coming winter to show up as seedlings in spring. But for now, I dance in the colding air, nose nipped with frosts, freezes now & then but coming more often. Rain dancing with me among the many colored fall hills where the crows caw homecoming time. The pumpkin is huge but sometimes dances too. We dance harvest home. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Screams loud but loud still the black & blue marks on her face, her body. Anger even fades from eyes. A hopelessness of living though dead comes instead. It's that stillness of no more tears. A terrible storm brews so deep beneath the surface only one truly knowing this territory would see it. But, it is there. A horrible vengeance of wrath if not healed. A horrible wrath of vengeance despite healing. The damage goes beyond life deep. An unbroken chain of lifetimes of terror in flesh. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The cold rain mixes with snow & sleet in a slow steady drizzle with the occasional gust that promises more to come. Earthquakes nearby a few days earlier forebode the coming of stronger elements to come as mother earth shakes herself, attempting to re-stabilize & re-balance. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The winds, the winds, the winds, blowing as if imported from a typhoon with a tropical monsoon along for the ride. Surf's up! What? But these are the mountains, hundreds of miles from the nearest seaside. We'll be ok if the power holds. Then the ice came with snow. OK, now this is more like what we usually deal with... if only the power holds. It used to be even the power was not all that big a deal to getting by ok. That was before getting too old, too unhealthy, or needing critical care. But, my! It is a pretty sight as long as everyone is ok... or as ok as possible under the circumstances. And, if the power holds. It snows, snows, some windy snow here and there, but mostly snow. Good curl up with a book & a dog weather now. Or sleep. Or both. Snowing. Snowing. Power please hold. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Sparrows flying to the window during a calmer time in the wind & snow, seeking to build winter shelter with me, decide it is not enough protection. Off they go to the eaves to inspect accommodations there. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Most of us are intolerant (bigots) in some or many ways, unwilling & even defiantly opposed to learning about "the other" - even among those of us committed to learning to live peacefully & compassionately. Hate seems so easy, inbred. To check ourselves out, think of what we consider immoral then ask if we would tolerate this in our neighbor or our grown children if all else is reasonably responsible? Would the addition to the neighborhood of our place of worship or of our favorite place for hanging out of a group we pretend to tolerate cause us pain or anger? Do we ask for others to not judge us but to understand & be tolerant while we are unwilling to extend that same measure elsewhere? If we cannot answer with graciousness, patience, & wanting to understand more, then we have learned of places still needing our work within ourselves before allowing ourselves even to begin to consider to judge "the other." ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Thoughts running too rapidly to follow, too alert, strained, must need to understand, to find a way. Searching, searching, sifting, re-thinking, trying to find all the pieces to this puzzle. Remembering each word, each movement, each tone, everything. Wanting desperately to know enough in time to make the right decision, & time is drawing near. So... Sleep. Go play & be silly. Let this puzzle percolate a bit inside. The way will become clear. Relax. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

When asked by a young person what was the best way to get guys' attention, I said "it helps to be breathing." It was not what she wanted, I think. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Fog envelops the mountain, making the trees look like cast members in a romantic, mysterious play that draws my dreaming soul to wander away from overwhelming troubles for awhile to let the calm of the forest soothe my battered places & strengthen my resources to do whatever I must do. Deep breath. Set my face forward. Dry my tears despite all. Chin up. Forward unto whatever is calling me now. Because of the mountain, I can & will go on with a smile, then a laugh, & then a song with a dance... even if it is only in my heart & soul. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Patient waiting while doing all that is known to be done for now, keeping strength girdled round about me to freeze into the holding formation needed, freezing out panic even as more piles on me, I wait hopefully, expectantly. Told I'm in denial too many times to count. Told I need to give up even more often. Told I do not count, so don't get my hopes up. Yeah. Whatever. I wait. Weary sometimes. I wait. I know nothing lasts forever in my life. I also  know winter does come to an end. Crocuses do pop up thru the ice & snow. I wait. I sense crocus blooms in my future still. These are worth waiting for, I am convinced. I smile, & I wait. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The touch of fog lingers lazily in the tops of the trees on the mountain this morning as the cold seeps into the earth despite a bit of warming expected later today. Winter comes. I'm ready to hibernate, to hide, to rest, to heal, to sleep, but not sure if these will be allowed. Winter travel or work is just as dangerous as summer travel or work. But, if I must, then a frozen me will do what I must. Besides, I look good in icy colors with a touch of holly in my hair. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

None of us. No, not one of us. None means none. None of us has all the answers to much of anything. It is arrogance at its haughty-ist, supremacist, most bigoted worst to think any one of us is better than or has the only answer over any other of us. As long as any of us believe this way, none of us are safe. All must be prepared to protect ourselves & our loved ones from enemies within ourselves and from those around us. To change the world, to have real peace for ALL... we must face ourselves & change our own hearts, minds, & actions. All of us. Until then, let's all keep working toward a more peaceful & compassionate world. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Receiving loving touches of so many kinds from you all & from ... oh my! from everywhere! ... has given me strength to keep breathing & imp-ing until now. I have no doubt this love will give the thermals beneath my wings to fly forever. AND, I want to take you with me. Love would be lacking & incomplete without you. Let's fly together please. Dance on the wind. Love forever. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

A misty, cool day brings out the romantic dreamer in me. Today is such a day, & I dream of you, my beloved. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I have had a type of solitary confinement for so many years that it has become my normal home base. Solitude & quiet have given me treasures I doubt I could have any other way. It truly is all about attitude & the use of creative imagination. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

It is very important to make sure we keep ourselves honest with ourselves so that we do not just hear the things that comfort & validate our opinions only. We need a wide variety of sources to listen to & the courage to ask intelligent, good questions of each & every one. Check. Reference. Think. Ask more questions. Keep learning. Keep stretching. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The cold nipped me as I sat enjoying the chilled scene freshly dusted in lacy white. The dark bark of the trees, darker than in their leaved days, interlaced branches, holding hands as an arch in the sky. In my heart I just knew as long as the trees were there, my world was going to be fine no matter what came. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

The children scream, shaking, even though the siege is all they've ever known, cruelty a fact of daily life, want, hunger, more sleepless nights to the demonic music of bombs. Moments of joy stolen here & there in between losing a friend, a mother, your limbs. Survival? Comforting with assurances of afterlife. But nobody really knows. But please do not take that hope away from trapped people unless you can offer better. End the war. Living as humans together cannot be that difficult if we all try, surely! Another bomb. No one wants to try. Bomb away. Bomb us all. Bomb until nothing at all is left. Then? Then what? Then WHAT? Bomb away. It does not matter. We only lose something priceless. No biggie, right? ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Being so deeply blessed beyond comprehension, it is hard to believe anymore the cacophony telling me I am ugly, worthless, & to be eradicated from the face of the earth because of my looks, my size, or my gender. How can real breath be anything but beautiful? My beauty is part of the whole starry sky and mossy earth. ~ Daphne Yvonne  Bradshaw

Rarely do we even think about much less make the effort to listen to our self-talk that goes on well beneath the surface of our thoughts, but it there directing us all the time. It is hard work to change root things in our life, but it is impossible to change what we do not see, will not name, cannot own as a part of ourselves, and do not believe as important. But, the effort is vital to our living authentic lives. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Warmer but chilly day for late November has all the forest critters quickly gathering last minute needs for the coming winter while I smile before the open window watching, listening, wondering if a true winter is coming this year. It is hard to tell anymore. Everything changes more than usual. But still, life goes on on the mountain with that certain mountaineer attitude. Mountain right. Here we stand or sit. We are the mountain. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

misc quotes

Shooting stars, my wish tonight

For the wrongs to be put right;

For us to learn to love each other

More than love of sister & brother,

A love of ALL, not one excepted,

But goodwill & peace, ALL accepted.

~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

It seems the naughty bench was not the place to go to be naughty. Who knew? *halo* ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Sleep? Isn't that what you do when FB shuts down for the night? Oh, FB doesn't shut down for the night? So, what's this sleep thing again? ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

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This strength, this courage to face life just as it is, & much more left unspoken in the hidden hearts of those who suffer such judgments of unworthiness which run a wide spectrum of the shunned, the misunderstood, those held with impatient contempt barely concealed or not even attempted to be concealed, the unloved, neglected, murdered by callous busyness... are the faces etched with pain & holding sad eyes of those living all around us if we but only looked with kindness & love. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw  

Bencinya hati ini tapi aku rindu. (I hate you, but I miss/love you.) Words to a favorite song echo. The wounded heart, craving yet hating the affections of poison: A longing as deep as the knowing such as the moth has for the flame or the bird for the thorn, & just as urgent, just as deadly. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

With tears streaming down her cheeks, she wailed, “I should see these things coming somehow I tell myself. I never do though. And, I cry. It hurts like hell. And, I hate to cry. Sometimes I think ‘how can I be so horrible that people who get close to me or are related to me cannot stand me or be kind to me’? You say it is never about me but about them... but I am the one crying.” ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

My friend Fawad Fiaz - "The only way to truly know a person is to argue with them. For when they argue in full swing, then they reveal their true character."

I wish to add that anytime you encounter another person when the emotional side has higher sway with less self-censorship (such as during orgasm, giggly type of joy, deep sadness, weeping, terror, hunger/thirst, ill, in pain, etc.,) you see more & more of the true character. A lifetime of learning these things of just ourselves much less another being is only the beginning. AND, by Fawad's statement - I have a very long way with much hard work to go if I hope to have/be the kind of character I long to have/be. I am definitely a work in progress. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

There's more than a hole in this bucket, dear Liza. This bucket ain't got no bottom! This bucket is the need for love, belonging, kindness, healing, wholeness... esp. in the brokenhearted, the scarred by life's darksides. It is said the teacher teaches what the teacher most needs to learn. May I ever continue to learn to be kinder, more loving, gentler, & full of fairy dust. May I continue to dance even in the darkest times... esp. in the darkest times. Dance with me please. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I died, but somehow this shell of me trudged on for years, decades. Something fiercely defied my death, would burn my inward parts, never resting, singing sometimes raucously as I, shattering, was trampled, tamped down. Taunting me to dance ever more on puppet strings, the eyes, the mocking mirth of minions of my demise, defying them all. I did dance, a macabre dance of joy, of love, of kindness, of hope in darkest dark of no light but the longing knowing of the fierceness of my heart. My dance. My way. Even climbing the puppet strings to braid them to me. I dance. I dance. Burning, I dance. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Sitting on my favorite rock overhanging the creek, leg dangling, feet splashing, the wind dancing with the light & the trees, my crying slowed finally to that calm peacefulness after a brutal storm of emotions. The hills, the forest, the creek, the stone comforted me. As long as they remained, I'd never be truly alone. Here I belonged. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

And so I reveal piece by piece my soul, spread out before eyes that can see, words & music, art & puzzle, covered with my blood, my tears, my smiles, my laugh... seemingly locked within undisclosed. No, not hidden if you know where to look & what to look for, but I will not solve the puzzle for you for I am too busy being it. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Don't you understand that I long to kiss you with my whole being, to taste even your most hidden parts & bring them out to be kissed evermore in the light of my love? ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Silken skin of palest cream, darkest brown hair now mostly snowy white sparkling with the electricity of the lightning storm, the shadows play, flirting, darting with the flashing. Eyes glow then are hidden in the dark. Moaning softly, almost singing, beckoning like a siren call of heat, the draped sheet slowly glides to the floor. A storm symphony of heat, desire. Come, my love, ride the wind if you dare. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Have you ever struggled to remember the good side of yourself? All the monsters come out to play. Have ever all the wicked misdeeds & thoughts attacked your mind & heart? Even to remember the smallest kindness, an act of love you've sown lies blank before your eyes? Me too. Then I remember I have never done anything perfectly, so even at wickedness I slip up & be good. It spoils the whole me as monster motif somehow as I burst out laughing with tears. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Tree, do you ever wonder things like why continuing living since you must live only here for 100s of years despite all done to you or around you? What have you seen, heard, thought in your tree life here? Can you teach me please, Tree? I need your wisdom. Tree? Thank you for continuing to live here & letting me live near you. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I did not know there was any other way, only that it had to be done. I did not know it was impossible, so I just did it. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

My heart grows stronger when my focus is on my happy thoughts rather than giving in to the surrounding turmoils only. Where my heart focuses is indeed my treasure, & I want more. No! I want it all! I want joy overflowing & love upspringing. I want look death in the face & say one more time - "Not yet, old friend. Not yet." ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I've asked this question of myself quite often through my life as a good checkpoint, inspired by a preacher's sermon about the Good Samaritan: would I recognize what I say I believe if it showed up in a different way from what I would ordinarily expect? I know we all tend to seeing only what we want or expect to see. It takes a lot of training to see more.

I want more. I want to see as much as I can. I want to understand even if that understanding burns me. I want to love and to live as fully and as deeply as is possible in this broken woman's body. I want to be me in all the many facets and ways of being me is possible. AND, I want to love as many of you as you will allow, so consider yourself hugged. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

When I love, think, speak, or do something, I do it with my whole heart. I might think better of something latter and change my thoughts/actions. But at the time, I am simply who I am as I am where I am doing the best I can with what I have. So, if I say I love you in anyway (as a friend, family, other) then I mean exactly that with all my heart. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

I am who I am, nothing more and nothing less. I am beginning to grow in ways I would not have been able to dream of even a year ago. Life is such a wonderful adventure even when it hurts the worst. As long as I can still breathe, I want to live, to love, to laugh, and to be "the me-est me I am capable of being." ♥ ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Heart stopped. Frozen tears. A sob stuck forever in lungs. Big eyes. Lips tremble. How many times can a heart stop & restart? Silent plea. Please love me. I am broken beyond repair. Love me. Pummeled pieces sweep clean to make new. Please love me. Hidden. Watching. Scared. Please. A small whimper. Please no more hurt. Just love me. Final words spoken only through big eyes. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

A sweet enigma, a puzzle, a smile. Big sad eyes seem to flash a knowing, a flirty impishness, and she is gone but remains here. Catch her if you can. She dances though broken & sings though strangled. Though she was silenced, her heart broke free. Watch her story. Hear her fly. Taste her depths. Smell the abyss, the dawn, a radiance. Feel her pulsation. Reach out to own her, she vanishes as mists in the sun. Just dance. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Bring me not the cut or picked flower if you would show me love. Bring me instead a field of wildly growing flowers to enjoy season to season forever. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Dawn oozes across the mountain, drip by drip between leaves & branches onto leaves, flowers, veggies, all. A stirring among the day creatures as the night creatures dance their sleep dance. The crows caw the time change in the in-between time of bridging all on the magic mountain as we dance life into sunshine hours. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Those quiet hours just before dawn, a haunting, a deceptive stillness, where the silence runs deep beckon me always. A mist, a fog, a drizzle, a chill, the dark. The dark is richly textured silence, visibly felt, deafeningly tasted, a moist dryness vibrantly stealthy, seductively terrifying, but tautly calm. The night, the deep night when I want to wrap you deeply into me then fly forever in the peaceful afterglow. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

A field of daisies dancing in the breeze, each one alike but not the same. Dancing freely together. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Spying an unattended cup of coffee, the raccoon climbs on the porch bench, sits comfortably upright, and drinks, savoring each swallow, even giving a contented sigh when finished. Wiping his lips with his paws, he relaxes briefly before climbing off the bench to return to the forest. The man returns & wonders what happened to his coffee. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Speaking the truth even when spoken with kindness, love, patience, gentleness, and compassion does often still get labeled by those who do not want to hear it, who cannot hear it for whatever reason, or who actively opposed its being revealed for vested interests' sake. Truth-speakers are not welcome alive among us. We tend to prefer them long dead so that we can admire them without having to listen to the whole message they died for. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

As a youth, I'd sit on our front porch at twilight to watch the fireflies rise up like a twinkling fairy cloud over the green earth. It was a very magical time of wonder. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Mangled Memories

Hey diddle dee dee the cow jumped over me.

Little Boy Blue ran off with the spoon,

And the dish got mad at the moon.

~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw